Comin' fo' yo' honkey ass this Christmas, bitch.

I got almost all the way to the end of this before I realized there was no joke.

It really doesn't matter which deli you go to, this is your experience.

Originally I wanted this comic to end with me tearing debt apart with my bare hands. Then I realized that this is a much more realistic and depressing ending.

There is literally nothing I think I respect less than the high class fashion industry.

I wonder if this is the first comic Chris Sarandon has had written about him?

I feel like I lose half of my friends during football season.

So between work being super busy (not lying!) and me being sick, I didn't get this done last week, you know, before Halloween, like I'd hoped. But here it is now!

For those of you that are curious about my drawing methods, a typical full page comic like this takes me about 4 straight hours to do from start to finish. Also for those of you that are curious about what my vampire character sounds like, here is a handy video of my...

Hooray! It's Halloween! Those of you who know me well know that the whole long-lost relative dying and leaving me lots of money thing is something that I fantasize about pretty much every single day. Also, I would probably love to spend a night in a haunted house.

I had this idea when I heard about her meat dress. This seems like the most logical next step for her.

This is pretty much what I have to deal with every day. Every day. Of my life.

There is actually photographic evidence of some of these. Here's one: and another:

This is a realization I came to a little while ago. I've just been coping with it for a while now.

I've gotten a lot of sad reactions to Accident Bear, so I just wanted to tell you that he's never dead. Just severely injured.

And that's the end of Ke$ha! For now at least. I'll be back next week with more embarrassing comics about myself.

At a party recently my friend Anthony said "I love Ke$ha, because when whatever the thing that makes her not famous anymore happens to her, you know it's going to be good"

So I was driving to work one day and Ke$ha came on the radio and, after vomiting, I asked myself, "Jonathan, what would be worse than listening to one of her songs?" Enjoy.

There it is folks! Part one of America! is finished. Now it's time to get back to some normal comics. A bit of inside info, originally I thought I'd be able to do this entire comic for a single 4th of July post. Well, that's retarded, because the more I started...